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Now available from Penguin Books: Absentia by William Stobb. Find it in traditional book form on amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. Also available for mobile devices at iTunes bookstore and google books.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


Since 2004, men have been growing mustaches during the month of November to raise awareness about prostate cancer.  This is a good idea in certain obvious ways--people should think about prostate cancer.  Men should get exams after the age of 40--I think that's the recommendation. But it's a bad idea in one clear way: it's gross.  When you see a man sporting an especially bushy Mo-vember stache, you can't help but see, for a brief, horrible moment, his whole facial apparatus as a metaphor for the traditional prostate access point.  You know what I'm saying.  For a month every year, a whole world full of smiling face-anus assemblages.

Here's what I propose: let's switch it up.  Let's make August prostate awareness month, sponsored by Speedo.  At the beach, mowing the lawn, walking the poodle in the heat of the afternoon, men can wear Speedos for prostate awareness.  We can even sell special Speedos with a word across the butt, like... I dunno... "prostate."  

November can continue to be Mo-vember, with the whole mustache bit, but instead of being prostate awareness month we'll make it... what?  Mo-na Lisa Awareness Month?  People can reflect on the value of both the original Mona Lisa and Duchamp's famous alteration of the picture.

Or maybe Mo-vember could be Mo-use Awareness Month, since the mustaches tend to look like small rodents on the lip, and mice tend not to get the overall attention they deserve.

1 comment:

  1. Bill, that is hilarious. Maybe the NFL can wear brown instead of pink for a month. All the players could get prostate exams after the game to promote awareness. I also never realized that the Mona Lisa and Inigo Montoya were the same person.